In a time when we can almost always find ways to disagree on the most trivial of issues, I find comfort in knowing the majority of us (aside from Kelly Rowland; Lizzo; and for some reason, the people who keep nominating him for awards) can come together to agree that Chris Brown has remained the actual worst for well over a decade. He’s shown no growth. Yet, he’s somehow managed to remain in the pop culture lexicon, and his album, Breezy (Deluxe), was just nominated for Best R&B Album at last night’s Grammys. But Chris lost to Robert Glasper, who also beat Mary J. Blige, Lucky Daye, and PJ Morton to claim the trophy for his album, Black Radio III. It should be shocking to no one that Chris acted like a sore Chris Brown loser and took to his Instagram Stories several times to take several Chris Browns shits on Robert.
Page Six says Chris–who’s been nominated for 20 Grammys yet only has one win–took to his Stories to show his ass (again) and rip on Robert–who’s been nominated 12 times and now boasts five wins–for being unknown (to Chris, since this trick has been lost in his own sauce since forever).
“BRO WHO THE F–K IS THIS?” the “Breezy” creator, 33, captioned a screenshot of his Google search of Glasper, which described the 44-year-old Houston native as “an American pianist, record producer, songwriter and musical arranger with a career that bridges several different musical and artistic genres.”
People tried to explain to Chris who Robert was, but regardless, Chris doubled down on his bullshit a few more times.
Atop Glasper’s accolades, which include four previous Grammy wins, Brown once again asked, “YALL PLAYING
WHO DA FUCK IS THIS?”
And then Chris continued clowning by deciding he must need to improve his skill set to get another win. But, he didn’t vow to stop assaulting people, keep his party music at a suitable level, or not needlessly euthanize his own pets so he could eventually win the hearts of the Academy’s voting members; he instead said he’s going to take up the harmonica.
The “Run It!” hitmaker begged the question a third time, sharing a meme that read, “WH
THE FUCK IS ROBERT GLASPER,” before telling his followers he’s “gotta get [his] skills up” and “start playing the harmonica.”
The next slide featured a photo of Brown doing just that. “NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED!” he wrote across the image. “HARMONICA BREEZY.”
Here’s a compilation of Chris’ Grammy loss meltdown, which is probably just a normal Sunday evening occurrence for him.
Chris Brown not knowing who Robert Glasper is isn't the flex he thinks it is. pic.twitter.com/FVgBQfltZN
— Ruben || Check the Rhyme (@checktherhyme1_) February 5, 2023
Chris got rightfully skewered on Twitter:
Chris Brown not knowing who Robert Glasper is… is the reason all of Chris Brown songs sound the same
— Maybe: Jacoby (@Getthebagcoach) February 6, 2023
Chris Brown has 20 nominations and 1 win. He taking out his frustrations on Robert Glasper but them 19 Ls are the real enemy
— Felonious Munk (@Felonious_munk) February 5, 2023
The irony of Chris Brown not knowing who Robert Glasper is that he’d probably have at least two Grammys instead of one if he worked with Robert Glasper.
Instead, he’s been doing the same Doublemint Gum steps since ‘ever.
— bæ grylls AKA Hugh Vaxxman (@TheAuracl3) February 6, 2023
Aw, there there, Chris; if we were tallying felony convictions, you’d definitely come out on top. Is Chris secretly on Robert’s PR team? Because if so, genius move! Even if people didn’t know who Robert was before, he’s about to gain millions of spite-fans, spite-sales of his merch is going to skyrocket, and his spite-streams on Spotify are going to break the internet. Maybe Chris Brown does serve a purpose after all!
Pic: James Manning/PA Images/INSTARimages.com